Frustrated...

***This is a rant. Which, I try not to do, but, it's been festering for far too long and tonight just burst the dam. Feel free to pretend you read it but don't really.***

****OH! Also, I don't want your sympathy. At all. Please, just keep it to yourself, it won't be helpful. Thanks for caring and everything, but I just don't really... want to hear it. Sorry.****


I'm frustrated with just about every. single. aspect of my life at the moment.

I'm frustrated that I was sat down today at work and chatted with or whatever because there was an issue involving me. I was frustrated with a situation last night and voiced that to one person, and I got in trouble (kind of) for it. I'm frustrated that I didn't just keep my mouth shut. I'm frustrated that the person in question didn't just come to ME. I'm frustrated that work is feeling incredibly monotonous lately and I never feel like being there.

I'm frustrated that I have zero social life.

I'm frustrated that I'm spiritually stagnant, STILL. Even after I made that New Year's Resolution...

I'm frustrated that I've basically accomplished NOTHING since high school. I've been graduated for almost a year and I've made next to no progress in life. I'm frustrated that everyone else is out there taking the bull by the horns, so to speak and I've stayed at home and done basically the same exact thing almost every day. I hate it.

I'm frustrated that I have to wait until JUNE to do Phlebotomy. I just want to do it NOW.

I'm frustrated by how scared I am to get out there and just freaking GO to single's ward. I don't want to leave the comfort of my home ward, but lately, I've been feeling like an outsider even there... I think it's time.

I'm scared that this is just how my life is going to be. I don't want that.

I'm frustrated by how much of a flop I've turned into since high school. I wanted so much more for myself...

I'm frustrated by how alone I feel.

I'm frustrated that I miss my best friend so much.

I'm frustrated that nothing is simple or easy right now.

I'm frustrated that I don't feel accountable to the same level as everyone else at work.

I'm frustrated that I suppress all my emotions so much.

I'm just... FRUSTRATED. With everything.

I need a change. I need something new. I need some perspective or something...

Thanks for sticking around if you did. It's fine if you didn't... in which case you wouldn't see this, but whatever.

Remember, no sympathy.

Cheers,
      Reille K.