Okay, I wrote this in my Notes on my phone IN SEPTEMBER. With the intention of posting it. Then completely forgot. But, I still want to put this out into the world, so I'm just going to leave this here for you. Whoever YOU are. :)
So I do this thing where I assign SO MUCH meaning on something that is actually pretty insignificant. And assign NOT ENOUGH meaning to things that probably matter a little bit more.
FOR EXAMPLE (pretend I'm cool enough to know how to make a gif of Hermione on the train with Ron and Harry from the first movie, saying this. That would go here.)
I gave my number to a waiter this weekend. And I’ve been STRESSED about him contacting me ever since. Like, downward spiral into the Gulf of Mexico over here. Thinking about how because he hasn’t texted me or called yet, I had to have been super annoying (which is kinda true) the whole time I was at the restaurant. Or that I’m not attractive. Or that I said this. Or did that. And it totally turned him off. Or that the interest I THOUGHT he was giving off was just for better tips. Like, hi, Reille, this doesn’t matter THAT MUCH.
But. I think about reading my scriptures almost every day or going to the temple at least once a week. And those are, more than likely, spiritual promptings that I am not assigning ENOUGH MEANING to. I think about it, and then make excuses. Like, I’m too tired to do a whole session tonight, or walk across the room to get my scriptures off the shelf to only read one verse. And I’m already in bed. And I don’t have time to do it in the morning because SLEEP. Or whatever.
Like, WHAT AM I DOING?! I don’t even know this kid that I gave my number to. And I’m allowing so much of my precious time and energy be channeled into him.
But I DO know that the temple is where my Heavenly Father wants me to be at this time in my life. I DO know that sacred learning and progression happens when I go there. Not only for me, but also for the women I am there serving. I DO know that the scriptures will benefit my day to day life and my eternal testimony. After all, they hold the KEYS to ETERNITY. And eternity is my ultimate goal.
Why do we do this to ourselves? Why is it so HARD to be mortal? Like, seriously! (Because SATAN. And also because THIS IS A TEST. And also because the hard is what makes it worth it.)
I am going to try to recommit myself to this righteousness thing. Like, forget about the dude (ALL the dudes)(even though there will need to be a dude eventually, ya know?) and lose myself in the gospel again. Because THAT’s what is important. The gospel is what is important and as long as I spend my time in that, learning and growing and believing... then everything else will just work itself out.
Reille K. :)