"God Loves You"

You know, I've always felt loved. If not by the people who's affections I have lusted and wistfully hoped to receive, then by my family and dearest friends. I've only ever felt lonely when I've made myself lonely. When I over-think all the thinks I had and made myself crazy. 

Lately, I don't know what it is, but I've been feeling really great about myself. Call it self-esteem or whatever you'd like. I mean... I inadvertently asked a REALLY cute boy on a date. And wasn't nervous about it. I mean, I thought I was just asking him to hang out, but... it ended up being a date. That's a BIG step for me. I wasn't uncomfortable at any point that night. I never got embarrassed about anything. It was pretty great. And I got to spend my evening with a cute boy. So, magical, obviously. 

But anyway. That is NOT what this post is about. This post is about God. And just how great He is. 

I found this quote on Pinterest and promptly made it my desktop background.

     "Some days you get what you WANT.
                      And some days you get what you NEED."

Lately, I've been getting a lot of things that I didn't know I needed. I mean, people have been saying things that I needed to hear not only as a comfort, but also because I needed a kick in the butt. 

Two different people who are half a world away from each other, have told me that God loves me. I've always known that, but sometimes you need an outside reminder. And both times, it was JUST what I needed. In that moment, in that day, whatever. It's amazing to see how God works through other people to make sure that you get what you need. Angels are around us, at all times, in all places. And I love it when they are so obviously present. Or, I guess, when I have my eyes open enough to notice. It's amazing. There are days when you get what you want (that boy saying yes to spending time with me) and there are days when you get what you need.(People reminding me that God loves me.) 

Anyway, I thought I'd do a more spiritual type of post today because I played hooky from church. Not really, I had a migraine that made it so I could barely walk. So... church wasn't much of an option. But anyway, happy Sunday!

Mmmkaylikeyoubyeeeee!

Cheers,
     Reille K. 

Happy Thursday!

Well, hey there!

Once upon a time, I told you that I would remind you on Wednesday to start your social media fast if you were going to join me aaaaaand, I didn't. I was too busy occupying my time with all the other wonderful things that don't require a computer!

I've been reading two books lately, one about my favorite, Dr. Seuss. It's fantastic. I actually really want to name my son Theodor. So, there's that. And also one about creativity. It's called, "Steal like an Artist" and it's by Austin Kleon. It is AWESOME. Very good read. I highly recommend it, even if you aren't a super creative person! It was wonderful. I actually finished that one, because I took notes while reading so it took me a little longer. So, I've been reading.

Also, I started an art project I've had on the back burner for MONTHS. Like, I've had all the supplies and everything but just haven't done it. Lazy, right? I'm doing another mosaic and I'm SOOO excited for it. It's for Meg and I'm making her favorite flower! After my last attempt at using really different materials, I've decided that I just gotta stick with what I know for right now. So, paint chips it is! Plus, they just work the best. So, I've been doing that too.

Already, after not having social media as an option for ONE DAY, I feel so much more productive. And I've actually gotten stuff done! I even made a dentist appointment! If you aren't doing it now, you should definitely consider doing a social media fast. It will do WONDERS.

Oh, also, I passed my national test! I got an 84% which... I think is pretty rockin', considering that I have the HARDEST time studying. Which means that I barely studied. So, there's that. So, yay me!

Happy Thursday, everybody!

Mmmmkaylikeyoubyeeeee!

Cheers,
     Reille K.

Social Media Fast

Hey Humans, I finally decided that I'm going to take the challenge (that I gave to myself) and do a week long social media fast. So, this is not using Facebook, Twitter, Instagram,... other social media sites/apps. Basically, I'm limiting myself to Email, Blogging, aaaand texting/calling. Like, I'm deleting the apps off my phone and everything. It's going to be magical! 

So, if you need to reach me (ha!) those are your options. I'm going to start it on Wednesday, so I can still rant and rave and (hopefully) celebrate about my nationals test tomorrow. And also, I wanted to give you guys some time to join me if you'd like! 

Let me know if you plan on doing it with me! It's easier to do something like this if you aren't alone, so I thought I would give you guys the opportunity/idea to do it too. 

Anyway, I'll chat at you guys about it again tomorrow, I'm sure. And by chat about it, I just mean remind you. 

Mmmkaylikeyoubyeee!

Cheers, 
     Reille K. 

Go Away.

There are moments when I just can't be bothered to go to social events. Which, is most of my life... but I've been trying really hard to get out more lately. And today, today was one of those days that I just couldn't be bothered. Even though he would be there. Even though I would have talked to him. I just... I couldn't be around humans any longer. And it happens all too often for me. The times when I want to be around humans are the times I can't stand them. And the times I don't are the times when they are everywhere and impossible to throw. Just, go away, Humans. Go away.

More Quirksies

These are just some random thoughts or things about me that I thought someone, somewhere could find interesting/funny/stupid. Enjoy!

- I think that the perfect society would be one where we don't HAVE to wear pants and that's completely acceptable. Pants just... they suck. When I'm at home and no one else is, chances are I don't have pants on.

- I hate the word, "Hubby". Is it really that hard to say Husband?

- I feel really cool and awesome that my blood is potentially HALF Scottish. Like, both sides of my dad's family would be Scottish wayyy way back and that makes me like, half Scottish, right? Not really, but kind of, right? I think Scottish culture and heritage and history is really amazing.

- I've worked at Target for a year... so there's that.

- I used to LOVE painting my nails, but for the past like, year and half- two years, I can't stand having my nails painted and only ever paint my toes.

- I really love drinking juice (specifically Grape and Orange) out of mugs. Even better if I have a straw too. 

- Dr. Seuss is my absolute favorite. And I love him as more than an author. I've taken to reading his biographies and such, and he was just a fantastic human being too. So, I love him. And I decided this week that (if my eventual husband is okay with it, that is) I'm going to name my son Theodor. And if I end up with twins that are a boy and a girl, I'm going to name them Theodor and Elenore! I mean, I want both names to happen. So... yeah. But, how cute, right?! 

- I love SWIMMING. Like, acutal, legitimate SWIMMING. Not like, "let's go swimming" and you just stand around in the pool and talk. Not so much that kind of swimming. 

- I really love puppy ears and cuddles. And by "puppy", I mean dogs of all ages... because I refer to all dogs as puppies. 

- I know a little bit about a lot of things, and that's how I like it. It helps me relate to more people and more TYPES of people. 

I guess these aren't all necessarily quirksies, but, it's fine. 

Mmmkaylikeyoubyeeeee!

Cheers,
     Reille K. 

Date VS. Hangout

Not to worry, guys. Real blog post this time. Since THIRTY ONE of you read my last one and I got ZERO comments. And only one on the Facebook link that was just someone bein' sassy. Anyway, I'll get to it.

So, as inspired by a recent life event, I've been ruminating over the whole "dating vs. hanging out" thing. Not like, the pros and cons of each one or anything, but like... What is the difference between going on a date with someone and just hanging out with someone. I mean, if you're hanging out with just the two of you... Is there even a difference?

Here's what I found: If it's a date, it should be clear to both people that it is, in fact, a date. Otherwise, things just get weird and all that jazz. And the only other difference is that it has romantic connotation. Like, you're spending time with this person because you are interested in them romantically. Get my meaning?

If it's just hanging out, you're just spending time with someone to get to know them better or just because you enjoy their company. It COULD be to scope out whether or not you do have romantical type feelings for them also, without the "commitment" of a date.

Basically... they're the same thing. That's what we're getting here, right? I mean, besides the labeling of the situation. You do the same things, right? There is no, "Oh, you can't do that if you're just hanging out. That's something that is EXCLUSIVELY done when on a date," activities... Is there? There is no, "Oh, that can't be done when you're JUST hanging out, you uneducated swine!" Am I right, people? I think I am. Right?

As I do every Wednesday, I went to lunch with my Grandma at Sizzler. (Seriously, every Wednesday, we go.) And I was contemplating this whole subject while we were there and so OF COURSE, I asked her how it was when she was growing up. So, preface, my grandma would have been dating age around the mid-40's.

If a guy and a girl were together. It was a date. There was no "hanging out" between guys and girls back then. A guy was ALWAYS the one to ask. And if a girl asked, which was INCREDIBLY rare, she was considered very forward. The only time it wasn't necessarily a "date" was if the guy just stopped by the girl's house and they "chatted" for a bit. Guys COULD NOT just wait around for the girls to do all the work, otherwise, no one would ever get anywhere. (Now, I'm not saying that I fully expect the guys to make all the moves and all that stuff. Because I don't. I am a WOMAN, people. But, it would be nice if I didn't have to do ALL the work. Ya feel me?)

So, what happened? Why is there such a dichotomy between dating then and dating now? I mean, they both have the same purpose at their core. And they include the same activities. All that's different is the name. So why is the word, "date" so insanely scary for people? Myself included! Is it because there are more expectations going into a date? Because you could easily have the exact same expectations going into a hang out.

It's interesting to see how society has changed and realize that while we're "the valiant generation" and all that jazz, we're really just a bunch of wimps. Really, though.

Have a good week, everybody!

Mmmmkaylikeyoubyeeeeee!

Cheers,
     Reille K.

Oh Hey.

Oh hey.

As you may have noticed, I've been feeling kind of grunky about my blog lately. I just feel like I don't have much that I WANT to say about much of anything. But, it's been requested that I write more. Because I guess people like it? When I write? (Jooooookes, I know people like it.) And I need some inspiration. And obviously, since you guys inspire me to write on here, ALL THE TIME. I thought I would ask you. WHAT do YOU want to hear about from me? Is there any burning question you have? A topic that you want to hear my opinion on? Because we all know that I have an opinion on just about everything. Something you want to learn more about and just don't have the motivation to research yourself? Like, for reals, guys. Comment below and PLEASE give me things to think about/talk about.

Also, just in general. Could you guys like, comment on posts? Like, tell me if you like them. Or hate them. Or what you think is funny/ well-written/ boring? Because I really do value your opinions and I want to hear from you! I want more than just seeing the numbers of how many people have read a post, you know? Because I like you guys and I want to appreciate you even more and more specifically. You can comment even if you don't have google or blogger (and by have them I mean, have an account...)! There's an option to just type in your name or URL. So guys. Come on. Give me a little something. :) Please? And thank you in advance too.

Thanks for stopping by! Get down there in the comments and just do it! Even if it's something that's silly. :)

Have a good week, guys!

Cheers,
     Reille K.

Stitched into This

I began as some bits of fabric, stuffing, maybe a few bits and bobs. With each day, I came together a bit more. My pattern being cut out as I was formed in the warm embrace of my mother's womb. Slowly being stitched around as I grew bigger and stronger. Pieces of stuffing being placed thoughtfully and carefully along the way.

The second I hit the harsh world outside my protection, I was torn. But no one saw. Eventually, it fixed itself. No needles required. A miracle. Secretly I've always wished for the scar.

Slowly, hair was stitched in. More definition added to my face and features. My mouth being ripped out over and over to switch between a smile and a frown.

As I got older, I acquired more rips. Those playing with me not as careful as they should have been. Some stuffing spouting wounds being stitched up better than others, leaving me looking a little ragged in places.

For some time, I thought no one wanted to play with me. Leaving me to wander alone through the woods. But then I came across a Man. He took me in and repaired the poorly sewn rips and tears. Helped me pick out some new clothes. Fixed my limp and sad looking hair. He told me I was beautiful and well crafted. Not anything I had heard before. I knew, in the deepest parts of me, that it was all because of what He did. Before He let me go back into the world, he stitched promises into my heart. Telling me that if upheld my end, all of them would be kept.

Filled with joy, I ran and skipped back into the woods and soon, fell down. Crumbling as I realized that I had tripped on a huge rock; one that I had always been warned about. Devastated, I assessed myself and found a new rip. One that was bigger than ever before. I heard the voice of the Man coming to me from the memories of when he stitched me up himself. Using that as a guide, I stitched myself up. It didn't look right. I wasn't doing it right. I was missing something. But, I didn't want to go back to Him so soon after I just left. He would never trust me to leave again. So I pressed on. Continually tripping over rocks and ripping open my poorly sewn wound over and over again. Finally, I couldn't do it anymore and I went back. I asked for His help and, gently, He scooped me up and gently sewed me back up.

Since then, I've tried to stay close to the Man's house. Sometimes wandering a little farther than I should. But always being able to find my way back. On one of my many trips to visit the Man, he whispered this to me.

"Darling, you've been stitched into this. This person you are now. Each day, experience, person you've met being stitched in one at a time. Becoming a part of you in ways that you can see and a million ways you can't. But no matter what, you get to choose what and who get's stitched in to become part of you."

I went away that day with a new perspective on the world around me. And a new perspective on myself. I wasn't broken. I didn't need to spend my time with people that played roughly with me. I didn't need to spend my time not looking around me and repeatedly tripping over rocks. I was stitched into this, made up of my own choices. And from then on, each choice would be made with deliberation.


Thanks for stopping by! Have a lovely rest of the week!

Mmmmmkaylikeyoubyeeeeee!

Cheers,
     Reille K.

The Boyfriend

Except... Fiancee. No, not mine! I met Clayton (my bestie)'s fiancee Rob last night. And I could go on and on about what we talked about. What we did. Where we ate. And all those things.

But I'm not going to. Because the only people I want to share that experience with right now were there. Sure, I may share bits and pieces here and there, but... it was a really special night, and I want to keep it for myself. :) 

All you need to know is that I love them. And I am SO incredibly happy for them. And that I was crying by the end of the night, because I was just so dang happy (among other reasons). Sidenote-- Rob. You actually are part of a secret club now. There are few people who have seen the crying, extra emotional side of me. And you now have. Like, it was over a year before it even happened for Clayton :) 

Okay, back to it. For reals though, I think that Rob and Clayton are absolutely perfect for each other and I don't want it any other way. I just. I love them! 

Anyway, thanks for stopping by! 

Have a good rest of the week, everyone! 

Cheers,
     Reille K. 

Unplugged Sunday

Hello lovelies!

Earlier this evening, I decided to have some time where I was "unplugged". Meaning, I didn't check Twitter, Insta, or Facebook. I didn't use my phone besides telling the time or figuring out plans for tomorrow. I didn't listen to any music.

I read. I painted my toes. I contemplated things.

And it was GREAT. I think I'm going to try and make this like, a thing. Like, A THING. It was really nice to just BE. And not have the urge to touch my phone every ten seconds like I usually do. Lately, I've been starting to hate my phone. 1) Because it really is garbage. I can't type anything starting with the letter T. 2) Because what is my constant checking of Insta and Twitter REALLY doing for me? I deleted Facebook off my phone MONTHS ago, and it's been grand. I'm thinking maybe I'll do a social media fast for a whole week. Sometime soon. Not sure yet. Like, deleting the apps off my phone and errythang. And maybe never putting them back? Hmm. If anyone is interested in doing it with me, let me know in the comments, and we'll chat about it. Like, dead serious.

Also, I get to see my bestie tomorrow! TOMORROW! And I get to meet his BOY! Woo! (His boy's name is Rob, by the way). I haven't seen him since right before they started dating, actually. WHOA. Oooh, I'm just so darn excited! I literally don't know if I'll be able to sleep tonight.

I really don't know what to do. About a certain human. I don't want the blog to turn into just talking about him all the time, so I've been really refraining from just pouring all my thoughts out everyday. It's been hard, guys. But, it really is in your best interests, I think. I just... I don't know if I want to go for it. Because every other time I HAVE gone for it, it doesn't end well for me. Either, they think it's just some stupid thing, not serious at all. Or, they turn out to be VERY interested in talking about my gay bestie, resulting in my realization that, "Oh my gosh, I'm 95% sure that he's gay himself." Which, is great for him. Not so much for me. So, I don't know. I mean, anything that I offered this current human would be strictly hanging out. But, it's easier for me when it's just me and the other person I'm interested in getting to know... so it could be weird. Ugh. Okay, I'll just stop here. I don't really want to get into this right now.

Okay. That's all. Thanks for stopping by!

Goodnight, lovelies! Have a good week!

Mmmmmmkaylikeyoubyeeeeeee!

Cheers,
     Reille K.

Bloody.

Since I'm sure you're all DYING to hear about my phlebotomy experience. Here it is.

We started out just learning away and I LOVED it. It felt good to be focusing my energies on something so... worthwhile. While it isn't something as crazy important in the medical field as say, a doctor or surgeon, it's still a vital role. As simple as it sounds, there are a lot of things that could go wrong and permanently affect people. It's very important to have correctly trained phlebotomists.

Anyway. Rant-esque passage over.

I couldn't wait to get out there and get to it.

The first night of live practice, I wasn't perfect and that was devastating to me. Which, is silly, I know. But it's really hard for me when I don't get something right away, because I usually do. And I went home and bawled my eyes out. Truth. I finally realized that I hadn't prayed about any part of the class, and I did that and immediately felt so much better about everything. I had been feeling like I had failed and I would never improve and my life was over. Not QUITE that dramatic, but, close enough. ;)

The class went on and it was a crazy ride. The first night of volunteers, my volunteer bailed on me without telling me until I was literally, getting on the freeway. Luckily Meg was available. Seriously, I was livid. But it all worked out.

Then, I was STRUGGLIN' with all the hand sticks. Even still, I'm definitely not nearly as confident with them as I am with AC sticks. (AC is short for Antecubital Fossa, which is the elbow crease where they GENERALLY take blood from). They're reals hard for me. And I hate doing them. Ha! But seriously. Last resort for this lady. But, I finally FINALLY got them all done at the beginning of this week. It was definitely a struggle, but it all worked out. 


My first IV was a little bit of a struggle, I ended up infiltrating the vein, which means that I went through both sides of the vein so the saline solution just goes into the tissue when you're testing it. Which means that the medications and such that you'll be putting into the vein will too. Then, the second IV went well, besides that I didn't occlude the vein hard enough, so she bled out of the catheter a little bit. Then she went into shock, so, that was a little stressful, but it was also hilarious. She was saying the silliest things and I'm glad that I had an instructor there the first time I had someone go into shock. 

My second IV though went perfectly. NO DROPS OF BLOOD CAME OUT OF THE CATHETER!!! It was magical, guys. I felt so dang accomplished when I finished it. Whew! 

It was a really great experience, and it's changed me in ways I never really expected. My life is completely different, and it's kind of weird. It'll also be really weird to have my nights back and not have to drive to and from Lehi every day. 

I still have Nationals, which is at the end of the month. So, I'll be continuing to study study study until then. But, guys! I'm a certified Phlebotomist! 

YAY!

Thanks for stopping by, have a good day! 

Mmmmkaylikeyoubyeeeee!

Cheers,
    Reille K. 

In my head

It's a mess in there, didn't you know?

I can't tell if it's overconfidence or just enough.

I hate it when people call me the "smart one", though it's come to seem inevitable, everywhere I go.

I almost always feel inadequate.

Now that it's ending, I don't know. I don't know that I'm cut out for it. I'm scared that I won't be as good as I know I am. And that's a scary feeling. And it doesn't make any sense, I know.

I just want to sit on a porch looking out into the ocean with a cup of hot chocolate and a good book. Forever. Every day and the rest of always. And find someone that likes to kiss my forehead as well as my lips.

And maybe have some babies.

I'm scared.

I'm nervous.

I'm craving something more than what this life has become.

I...

I am.


Look forward to a post about how I did on my finals and all that jazz sometime soon. I don't know how people do this with multiple classes?! I've been realizing more and more that I definitely love me decision that traditional college is not for me. Not for now, at least. Who knows where life will take me? Also, I can't WAIT for the Scottish Festival next (and by next, I mean the 13th) Saturday! I've been looking forward to it all year. Eeeee! I'll maybe try to get some video's of the games this year! Oooh. Something new and different!

I'm all kinds of freaking out. I have finals tonight and tomorrow. And boys. And my awkwardness. And trying really hard to be more social. And being bold. I feel like I'm going crazy. I think I'll go to the library tomorrow. Maybe. That always seems to help me think. And maybe my other happy places too. Yes.

Wish me luck! Thanks for stopping by!

Mmmkaylikeyoubyeeeee!

Cheers,
     Reille K.

I'M PARTICIPATING IN LIFE.

As you all know (or should by now, since I wrote a post about it yesterday), I'm an introvert. And on top of that, I simply feel awkward in most social situations. I don't know what's normal to do/say and what isn't. It's a rough life, guys. ;) But really. Plus, I just do stupid things a lot. So, it's not like I help my own case. 

Recently, I've fallen head over heels for a boy. And I absolutely HATE it. Like, do I tell them if it seems like there's possibility there? Do I just silently pine for him from afar? <--- My go to option in the past. I just... I crave more. And it's annoying me. But, the chance of seeing him at things has been motivating me to participate in things I normally wouldn't go to. Like, I went to ward prayer last night. And I've been going to Munch and Mingle. And I have been LEGITIMATELY considering a tri-ward camp out that's happening soon. Like, who the heck do I think I am? I can't even escape people if I go on a camp out! And what if he doesn't even go? I mean, I could ASK if he's going, but that's too easy. And I've resolved not to ask anyone else on a date. That's never ended well for me. And like, hanging out? I'm awkward, he probably wouldn't even want to. UUUUGH. Do you SEE what it's like being in my brain right now? Kill me. I hate that I turn into this when I like someone. And I'm not talking, oh, he's cute. I mean, I've had conversations with them and I legitimately could see this going somewhere. But it never does. Ugh. 

Okay, sorry this was kind of lame. But, it happened. 

Mmmkaylikeyoubyeeee! 

Cheers,
     Reille K.