Tuesday, April 19, 2016

i want to remember this day.

Wow... Okay... So, update since the last time I posted... :)
I talked to my Bishop that week, and he was all for getting the process started. I began going to Temple Prep for Sunday School (which was a blessing in and of itself, I became better friends with this girl Piper, who I just LOVE), and I bought (and tried to read) The Holy Temple by Boyd K. Packer (this is not a book you can just sit down and read for hours and lose yourself in. I know, because I tried. You have to concentrate so HARD). And I prayed. A LOT. More than I think I may have ever prayed in my life at one time. I was like, legit, praying at all times. And when I wasn't praying, I was thinking about the temple. 

As I went through this process, I became closer and closer to Heavenly Father and my Savior, Jesus Christ. And I started to feel SO READY. One day, whilst urinating, I realized why it's all so different now. Why it all feels so RIGHT. It's because I am finally ready for the commitment. I think that's a lot of what has held me back in the past. In so many areas of my life. I can make commitments, but this... this is LIFE CHANGING. And so is dating. Like, for me, I know that once I start ACTUALLY dating someone, it's pretty much going to move really fast and before you know it, we'll be tying the knot. So, I have to be ready for that commitment before anything even happens. That's kind of how it was for the temple for me. I had to get to the point where I would be committed. To the covenants that I will make. To wearing the garment. To always paying my tithing. To resist sin and temptations. It's a big step. And I didn't want to mess anything up. There was also some issues with ME not feeling good enough... worthy enough... ENOUGH enough. But that's like, the struggle of my lifetime. I AM enough of all of the above, I just had to get to a point where I believed it for myself. 

I had a total of three interviews with my Bishop. The first, the middle, and the final as I like to call them. The first was when I told him I wanted to do this and he said YES. And was super enthusiastic about it. I was 100% not expecting to get a yes right away. I fully expected to be told that I had to wait. So, I was SHOCKED. The middle was when I confirmed, YES, I still want to do this. Let's move forward. Still a little too early to do the actual questions because of WHEN I wanted to go through. And the final. That happened tonight. And I was a little anxious, just because I was so READY. Ready to get going. Ready to take this next step. You guys, this whole process has been like a dream. The best dream that I never want to wake up from. (Aside from any family drama that I basically made up in my head... that was not a fun part. But, that was me being a drama queen and I resolved it within myself). I had my interview with my Bish, then went over to the Stake Office, and had my interview with the Stake Presidency member (DON'T WORRY, I'm a total spaz and I signed my recommend in the Stake Presidency Member's spot and he had to cross my name out and I had to sign it again... *face palm*). And while they were asking the official interview questions, I felt the Spirit SO STRONGLY. And I felt so peaceful. And I knew, in that moment, that it was right. I was doing what is RIGHT for me. 

Then I walked out to my car and as I sat down, I realized... really realized that I AM GOING TO THE TEMPLE. In a week and a day. Like, this is real. It's happening. And oh my goodness! And I was overcome with emotions and the Spirit. But, I just had like a little bit of teariness and was fine. Then I told my snap story and said the words "I'm going to the temple" out loud and cried a little more! Just saying those words out loud was... WHEW! 

I am so grateful for my Heavenly Father. And my Savior. They know me SO WELL. Like, it's ridiculous because they know me better than ANYONE knows me. And they know my path and they light the way for me when I have no idea where to go next. They know when I am lost before I even know I am lost. They take care of me and give me so much more than I will ever deserve. I feel so content and happy and excited with where my life is headed. I can't WAIT for this next chapter of my life. It's going to be AMAZING. I'm so grateful for the testimony that I have of this Gospel. Some days, it's all that keeps me going. I am constantly in awe of how PERFECT God's plan is. And that He did it all FOR US. Even though we constantly fail Him. He loves us SO MUCH. 

I can't not testify of the Atonement... it is... the closest thing there is to magic. The moment you feel the power flow through your body is just... it is UNREAL. The Atonement is for sins, but it is also for sadness, disappointment, physical pain, emotional pain, grief, anxiety, worry, stress. Literally, it is for EVERYTHING. It is truly the best panacea EVER (like, you guys, the Atonement cured a migraine for me more than once). I wouldn't be where I am today if it weren't for the Atonement and the power of the Priesthood. There aren't good enough words to truly convey how I feel tonight. I just feel so #blessed. And happy. And stoked.

Today was a good day. And next thursday is going to be one of the BEST days of my life. I just know it. 

Happy Tuesday, all!
All the love!

Reille K. :)