Sunday, June 30, 2013

What IS an introvert?

I know, it seems like everyone and their dog (at least, in the websy places I tend to frequent) have been talking about Introverts vs. Extroverts lately. And I've had a run-in of my own on this topic (a real life conversation?! Yes, I have those from time to time) and it really bothered me. So, obviously, I gotta blog about it. Let me preface by saying that I'm not trying to put down any extroverts or anything, I'm just going off of my own experiences and my own quirksies. Mmkay?

Also, sorry I've been AWOL for the past month. I was all kinds of busy with Phlebotomy and Guppy and life in general. Plus, I just didn't really feel like I had anything to say. It was as awful for me as it was for everyone else, I'm sure. Haaa! Kidding. But seriously. I think, I'm probably back. So, let's hop to it.

It's a lot of graphics that I, as an Introvert, think are HILARIOUS or that really struck me. And I hope that this will be enlightening to some.

So, let's begin by saying this. Being an Introvert and being shy ARE NOT THE SAME THING. NOR ARE THEY EVEN RELATED. Say whaaa?! Yeah, true story. Being shy has to do with social anxieties and that type of thing. But Introvertism vs. Extrovertism is all about how you gain "energy". Not like, energy that you get from sleeping or eating food, but like, social energies, spiritual energies... Ya feel me? Yeah! So, just because someone is an introvert, that doesn't make them antisocial. <--- that. That is what my real life conversation was revolving around. And it got a little intense. Anyway.

Scientifically speaking, introverts brains are wired differently. They take in stimuli much faster than the brain of an extrovert and it causes them to actually "overdose" on dopamine. Which is why they feel EXHAUSTED by a lot of socialising and general human interaction. They also tend to come across as rude, simply because they don't see the point of a lot of the "normal" human pleasantries and they don't do the whole small talk thing. They would rather discuss ideas than who so-and-so is dating. Introverts GIVE energy in the social situation and extroverts GAIN energy in the social situation.

Personally, I am VERY much an Introvert. I socialize when I'm around others, but when I get the chance to be alone with my thoughts, I can't get enough of it. I love being alone. I love sitting there and processing all the things that happened to me that day and all the conversations I had. It's fantastic. There was a week this past month that I had literally, zero time to myself. I was exhausted, I was grumpy with people, I couldn't think straight; it was horrible. I didn't realize until later that I didn't have any time to be alone without someone interrupting my thoughts and I felt like I was constantly under attack. It sounds like I'm being unreasonable and weird, but that's really what it feels like! So, that's when I decided to do a little research about this whole thing. I've just been ruminating over the topic for the past three weeks, waiting for some inspiration to write it. Since I had very limited time to myself, I didn't want to use any of it on blogging. I know, how selfish of me. But, it had to be done, for my sanity.
Like, two? weeks ago, when I met with my home teacher and his fake companion (he brought his buddy with him because his companion flaked); we chatted for about an hour and it was all fun and good and great. I loved it. But the second they left, I went into my parents room and collapsed on their bed and exclaimed, "Social interaction is so exhausting!" For reals, ask them. It happened. And it is! It's very draining to me to be constantly talking and thinking about what I want to say next. I much prefer to have lulls in the conversation and have time to process when I have to be with someone for a while. Even if I'm with someone and we just don't talk, I love it. I love being with people for the presence of their being, rather than the conversation. And I think part of what's so hard is that I'm a very active listener. When I'm listening to you, you have my FULL attention. And so being with other people is a lot.
So there we have it. Being an introvert is not being shy. We just, don't say things if we have nothing to say and we have to have some alone time pretty frequently. That's all. We're not some alien race of beings that look the same and talk the same as you.
Here are a few more graphics for ya.

I actually watched this whole show, it's HILARIOUS. Freaks and Geeks, go check it out. Netflix it up.
There you have it! Congrats if you made it to the end. Thanks for sticking around. I'll try to frequent a bit more. No promises though. Three more days until I'm a Phlebotomist! Five more days until I get to see my bestie and meet his boyfriend! Eeeee! Life is good. Mmmmmkaylikeyoubyeee!
Reille K.


Tuesday, June 18, 2013

And that makes me sad.

While I thought that I loved being open and blunt and with my words, lately... that's changed. 

I've recently felt like I need to hide away all my thoughts, feelings, actions, words. Hoard them, keep them for myself and myself only. 

I haven't been able to find the words I want to say whenever I come here. 

And that makes me sad. 

Is THIS something that happens as you grow up?

Maybe it's because I'm so busy I barely have time to eat? Or shower?

Maybe it's because I'm trying to focus all my energies on the things happening in real life, like Phlebotomy, Guppy, my calling, work, Momma, etc... to even think about my internet life? My little bloggy, here?

I can't seem to find the words here... in this place. 

And that makes me sad. 

     Reille K. 

Friday, June 14, 2013

Week Two of Phlebotomy

Holyyyy buckets, you guys. This week has been absolutely NUTS. 

First, Guppy was born. And he is darn cute. 

Second, we started doing draws this week. Oh my goodness. 

See, if you've been here for a while, you know that I'm the type of person that most things just come naturally to. Or at least, I get it good enough on the first try to deem it acceptable. I guess you could just say that I set very high standards for myself. Because, I do. 

This week, that was tested REAL HARD. Wednesday was our first night with an actual needle that we were poking into an actual person. We get to practice on our classmates first. Good times. I struggled reals bad. It probably wasn't HORRIBLE, but for me, I basically just failed that night. I don't know what my deal was. I was so excited, why wasn't I getting this? And it didn't help that when it wasn't perfect, I would just panic and lose my cool. It was ROUGH. 

I realized then, that I had not prayed about this class at all. I knew it was the right thing for me to do, but I hadn't asked for help with any of it. I was a wreck. I sat down and poured it all out to the Lord and I felt better after that. Then I made sure to say a little prayer("I say a little prayer for youuuu." Anyone?) before I went into class on Thursday and OH MY HEAVENS, the difference it made was incredible. I passed the test that we took that day, that most of the class didn't (that alone is a miracle). And I had one goal, to get a successful AC (or your general draw from your "elbow crease" for you un-medical-y peeps) that night. That was all I cared about. The girl I was partners with had awful hand veins, and only one good AC vein. I tried a butterfly on her hand that was unsuccessful, but I didn't panic, which was a HUGE improvement. And I was able to try and redirect and everything. It didn't do anything, but it was great because I was able to learn from the experience still and it wasn't dreadful like the ones the previous night. 

It was SUUCH a better night, because I had asked for help. I've always known that the help is there, but I rarely remember to utilize it. I struggle with the whole prayer thing. I know he's there, I just don't do it enough. It's something I've always had to work on, and something I will probably always have to work on. But one thing's for sure, I definitely gained a better testimony of prayer this week, and I stuck a bunch of people with needles! All in all, GREAT week. Stressful, but great. :) 

Thanks for stopping by! Have a good weekend, everyone! 


     Reille K. 

Saturday, June 8, 2013

Saturday Musings

Once upon a time, I decided to take a CPR certification course today. I had never even thought about it or realized that I probably should take one until earlier this week during class. As a phlebotomist, I'll most likely be working in a health care facility of some sort. In which case, it would be very likely that I would need to know how to do CPR. I mean, not that I would use it everyday, but, a lot of the time there are unhealthy people there. Plus, it's probably a requirement to get a job. I mean, it can't hurt, right?!

Here's the thing. I've always been kind of against the whole medical field thing. No specific reason for it, I just never thought it was my thing. I never saw myself as the type of person that would be be good at it. My parents always saw it. They always, ALWAYS encouraged me to do medical field-y things and I was always like, "Ew, no." (because this happened when I was an angsty teenager, yeah?) 

But... I'm also really awesome at it. It makes sense to me, I understand it. Now that I've put myself into it, even if it's just like, school and such, I'm ALL about it. Always talking about it, wanting to learn more, asking questions, etc. It's really super cool. I'm still pretty sure that like, intense, surgery type things are OUT of the question. Because guts are just... not really my thing. Like, when their all alive still and all writhing around and such. But like, blood? I love the stuff! It has never bothered me. It's so interesting to me. It's much more than just this liquid that moves around inside you. Blood is my calling, people. ;)

Anyway, I'm gonna go. Gotta go study for my test on Monday. Wooo!

Have a lovely weekend, everyone! 

     Reille K. 

Thursday, June 6, 2013

Week One of Phlebotomy

I've decided to try and do a weekly update of my phlebotomy class, instead of writing about it all throughout the week. Simply because, I don't want to bore the pants off you. 

So this was the first week, and it's been AWESOME. I've learned so much already and I'm LOOOVING it. One of my favorite things, that I thought I was going to be a little grossed out by, but was still really excited about--AUTOPSIES. We watched... I guess it would be three of them... last night! Oh my goodness! It was so cool and interesting. I was really interested when they cut open the uterus and stuff (you know me! Love me some reproductive organs!) and the woman was ovulating when she died... AH! IT WAS SO COOL. The only part that was a little weird was when they were peeling the skin back off the ribs. That was slightly gross. But otherwise, I was fine! And I was eating Skittles the whole time, so no worries. 

Also, we took our first quiz and I got 100%! I studied really hard, which was weird. Not that I studied, but because I haven't studied for anything since High School. But, it was actually really easy. So, hopefully it stays that way! ;)

We learned about infection control and oh my goodness. I've been extremely paranoid to touch ANYTHING. And I've been really vigilant in proper hand hygiene. Because... dang. I don't want any of those diseases! 

Guys, I'm just really frackin' excited about this. I think it's just what I needed and I think I'm going to rock it. Hopefully, I can stick people with needles. That's the ONLY thing I'm not super sure about yet. But, we start doing that next week! So I'll let you know how it goes! Also, I'll be needing volunteers to practice on pretty soon, so if any of you are interested, let me know! I need as many as I can get. 


     Reille K. 

Wednesday, June 5, 2013

The long awaited announcement.

So, this announcement that I've been hinting at this past few days... It's finally time to tell you guys!

Once upon a time in third grade, my teacher, Mr. Bezzant had a picture of Mt. St. Helens on his wall all year. And he taught us about it. Basically, it's an active volcano and it's really cool and awesome. It lives in Washington.

Also, once upon a time, when I was a Junior in high school, I went on a four day trip to Seattle with my oldest sister for this army thing called Yellow Ribbon. I saw a small percentage of Seattle, since we were in classes for most of the days that we were there. But, it was fantastic. I loved the weather. I loved the culture. I loved Pike's Market Place even though we got there as it was closing. It was frackin' cool.

Once upon a time, I have been really sick of Utah  in general lately. I'm not sure what sparked this sudden need to get outta dodge (actually, it's a LOT of crappy things happening all at the same time. None of which is all that important).

And. I realized this. What am I doing? I can go wherever I want to. I can do whatever I want to. What is keeping me here? I mean, really. What? My family is here, yes, but it's not like they will cease to be in contact with me at all or like, die or something if I'm not in the same place as them. I don't have a boyfriend. My friends will survive if I don't live by them (that's pretty much the case already, so). I won't die if I live alone in some new place, in fact, it's something I've always fantasized about!

So. Here it is. One year from when I certify as a Phlebotomist, I plan on moving to Seattle. Not really the actual city itself, but one of like, the suburbs of it or whatever. So, I guess, just outside of Seattle. So far, from what I've researched, it'll probably be Bellevue, Washington. But, we'll see what it's like when it's closer.

Guys, I'm so so so freaking excited. I'm giving myself a year to save as much as I can. Because, well, it's hella expensive to live there. Let's be real though, it's hella expensive to live anywhere outside of Utah. And I'm not setting a limit or anything on how long I'll be gone or anything, because what's the point of leaving on an adventure like this when you plan on just coming back? There is no point!

I may hate it, but, at least I'll have that experience. I may love it, and never live in Utah again. Either way, I'm doing it for me. I'm doing something that I have ALWAYS wanted to do. And it's going to be awesome. Even if it sucks. It will be awesome.

So there it is for ya.

Have a lovely week! Thanks for stopping by.

     Reille K.

Monday, June 3, 2013

"You Owe It to Yourself to be Happy."

This one's gonna get a little deep... So put on your snorkelin' gear! And also very long, so cozy on up!

With everyone graduating and moving on with their life, I feel like this is the PERFECT time to talk about this. It's something I've wanted to write about for a really long time (like, november, not even kidding) and I just haven't. I guess I just needed a catalyst to help me pull all the thoughts together into something readable. And that, my friends, is the class below mine graduating. I've been contemplating about where I was at this time a year ago A LOT this past week.

I had just graduated high school. Finished the loooong 13 year base education that everyone (mostly everyone) gets. I had finally reached the long awaited "freedom" that comes with graduating. But...

It felt hollow. It felt sad. It felt weird.

I no longer got to see my friends every day.

I no longer got to have knowledge being shoved into my brain everyday.

I now had to GO SEEK knowledge if I wanted it.

I had to decide for myself what I wanted to learn about and what I didn't.

I had all this freedom that I simply wasn't used to before. I had NO structure in my life. I had... nothing. Nothing but a piece of paper that said I went to high school and finished it.

My best friend had moved to Logan.

My other best friend had stopped talking to me.

My family was all busy being grown up and stuff.

I felt COMPLETELY alone. And I had no idea how to fix it. I sat on Pinterest, Facebook, and Netflix ALL DAY. EVERY DAY. The entire month of June last year. I didn't have a job. I didn't have a car. I literally sat there. In my house. All day. I almost never left. I was depressed. And not that depressed that we all throw around like it's no big deal. Like, I was LEGITIMATELY DEPRESSED. The dark, scary, lonely, AWFUL depressed. I hated it. This time was a very horrible time in my life. And I didn't really make it any easier for myself by being on Facebook all the time, seeing everyone else going out and being social and having all these great adventures.

All I did was sit and wish that my life were like that. While surfing Pinterest and simultaneously watching Netflix. But then, I got a job at Target. And I had some structure in my life. And I had social interaction. And I got to help people, everyday. And I had income. And I could save for a car. Which gave me a goal to work towards. I started blogging even more, and actively trying to get better at said blogging. I started to become comfortable with myself again. I started to improve myself. I started to WANT TO BE BETTER, in general.

I finally came to terms with graduating. And "growing up". That was really hard for me to do. I've always been mature for my age, but being mature and actually acting grown up/being grown up are two different things. I had to give up relationships that weren't all that healthy for me, no matter how much I wanted to hold on to them. I had to cut out bad habits. The kind of bad habits that you wish you had never done and you never speak with anyone about. Ever. The kind that you cannot even say out loud. That, was INCREDIBLY hard. That actually began in the early spring of last year... Easter. To be exact.

But, I was improving. I was better than I ever had been before. I was meeting new people and learning new things. My blog was becoming much more successful. I had finally clawed my way out of that depression. And it was great.

It was a bit harder once things got monotonous and drone-feeling in Softlines at Target. It was even harder when I found out that people were talking about me behind my back. I lost it when it was taken too far. I switched to Instocks. I left Softlines and all the drama behind. I was better than that. I was no longer scared to stand up for myself. Which, I had been prepared for through what I had to go through during last summer. And, that switch worked out beautifully. I've never been as happy as I am now. But really, this is better. I feel much more fulfilled. I get more recognition for my hard work from not just my own team, but everyone else as well. I finally went to the Single's Ward. I have a calling. That calling scares the living daylights out of me, but I know that it was meant to be.

My point is... it's HARD. I never felt like I could talk about my graduation experience so candidly; it's supposed to be this really happy, awesome time in everyone's life, and it wasn't for me. I felt abnormal. And if you just graduated (or even if you didn't!) and you're feeling this way too, please, PLEASE make it your goal to figure out what will get you out of your funk. Give yourself some purpose. Do it because you owe it to yourself! You owe it to yourself to be happy.

This leads into that announcement I talked about yesterday. Which, I really am saving for Wednesday. I'm sorry if you're dying to know what it is, but you'll have to wait a little longer.

Have a lovely Monday! Thanks for stopping by!

     Reille K.

Sunday, June 2, 2013

Just An Update: I haven't died. Yet.

It's been quite the week over here! I've been pretty busy, with a lot of planning, doing, and executing. We (my mom, my sisters, and myself) threw a baby shower for Dana because Guppy is coming any day now! And me being off in the early afternoon pretty much everyday, got to do most of the running around and such to gather all the supplies. I did manage to read Tina Fey's, Bossypants, this week. Which I've been meaning to get to for FOREVER. Loved it, by the way. Defs go read it. 

Anyway, I've had work. And the baby shower. And the planning of said baby shower. And I also start school tomorrow. TOMORROW. Also, there's something that I've been mulling over and have decided on for sure. I'll be announcing it in it's own post. So, watch for that. And also a baby shower post! :) Maybe I'll plan on doing those Wednesday morning. Because that's really the next time I'll have ANY time this week. 

The "life" ship is taking off. And it's no rowboat. It's a frackin' speed boat! I'll be super extra crazy insane busy. Especially this week. Hopefully I'll settle into this sooner rather than later. But DANG. I was going ALL day yesterday and I went to bed early and today I'm still EXHAUSTED. I had a glimpse of what my next five weeks is really going to look like. So, you might not see MUCH of me, but I really will try really hard to write still. I'll try to come around at least once a week. But, we'll see how everything goes. 

Ahh, I'm just so excited! And a little bit nervous. I mean, I've never poked anyone with a big old needle before. But I think once I get past that, I'll be good to go and rock it. Wish me luck! 

Love you guys. Thanks for the immense support for everything. 

I hope you all have the best week!

     Reille K.