This song sums up the general feeling. The feeling I had when I first... discovered a certain human of the male variety. As I started to get to know him (mostly from my facebook stalking escapades with a hint of pinterest), I found that he basically fit the mold of the guy I always imagined myself with. I also found that he was already spoken for, in a way. And, at first, I was completely ready to worm my way in there and knock her out of the running. But... lately, I don't know. One of my absolute heroes wrote a blog post a couple days ago (maybe it was only yesterday?) about dating and such (that you can find here.) that was an answer to an unspoken prayer. Granted, not the whole thing, but a few paragraphs and lines... they got me. They got me good. And here they are (I give FULL credit to Tiff, by the way. And I'll italicize all of Tiff's words so you can tell what's her and what's me).
(Context if you didn't go read the entire post: She was having a conversation with a guy at her singles ward family night about his friend and another girl across the room)
"Why is it, that as young single adults, we feel a certain right, a right that we don't have, to claim hold on strangers. To 'Call dibs', in a sense. He went on to say, "Well, they've been talking for a bit now… and he really likes her. He doesn't expect a relationship immediately…" and I said, "but how do you even know that she wants to date right now? How do you know that she's interested in dating? He has no right to expect even that of her so soon. Tell him to be her friend. A true friend first. Then, perhaps, if they both want more to come of it, that can take place when they are both ready.”
She got me there. It was like she was talking to me directly, about that certain human of the male variety. I really had no right to be so bold in my thoughts and think that I could and SHOULD steal him away. I mean, honestly, we've hung out a grand total of one time. It went well, but wasn't anything absolutely spectacular.
The one who is hard to get is not the one you should pursue.
I know it's not always like the movies and books, but I feel like it should be a little easier. And I don't want to be that girl. The one that ruins the other girls plans. If it ends up that way, then fine. But to actively set out to do that, I don't want to be her.
"Don't chase people. Be you, do your own thing, and work hard. The right people who belong in your life will come to you, and stay."
This is a quote that Tiff found. LOVE IT. Completely perfect for my situation.
I just have to be patient.
Things will all work out.
I'll meet him someday.
But for now, I'll just try to be friends with that certain human of the male variety.
No matter how hard it may sometimes feel.
I just don't want to break my own heart anymore. It hurts more than if someone else does most of the time.