This past weekend was... intense, for lack of another, probably better, word. It was such a roller coaster in my brain and I'm still feeling the effects. I feel super scatterbrained (which, there are a few people who can definitely confirm this), and just... so accomplished (which I find weird, since I didn't really DO anything).
I can't even begin to express how much it means to me that so many people were 1) so supportive 2) so willing to help me in my process (even though I really knew this was one that I really had to do by myself, as hard as it was) and 3) so supportive of my eventual choice! The announcement from the prophet about the mission age change has sent the greater LDS community into a blender of crazy (in a good way, definitely a good way) and I think it's made a lot of people take a closer look at their faith and where they are spiritually. I know it did that for me. It strengthened my relationship with my Heavenly Father SO MUCH. More than I even realized during the actual weekend.
But, my point. Thank you, thank you, thank you! To everyone who decided that MY blog post's were one of the (most likely MANY to choose from) that they checked out. I didn't really expect anyone to come read them (somehow, but I posted them on facebook, which I never do, so I don't know where that train of thought came from), and I was astonished, jaw-to-the-floor, surprised at the rising number of page views I got this weekend. I mean, honestly. I've had this blog for... somewhere around two years (I think, I could EASILY be wrong) and I had barely gotten around 350 views. And now I have just shy of 600 in two DAYS. I could barely fathom that so many people were interested in what I was saying. Interested in my life.
I'm starting to believe that I have something to say.
I'm starting to believe that maybe my words DO make sense when I vomit them onto a page through the keyboard.
I'm starting to think I'm maybe a pretty good writer.
I'm starting to realize just how many people like me as a human being.
I'm starting to feel more and more grateful for all that I have every day.
I'm starting to see God's hand in my life even more.
I'm starting to feel so undeserving for how incredibly blessed I am.
I'm starting to want to blog every second of the day.
I'm starting to feel like a grown up, and it isn't scaring the living daylights out of me anymore.
I'm starting to live the life I think I was always meant to live.