Tuesday, April 23, 2013

Not the girl I used to be.

I'm not quite sure when or where or how it happened. But, I'm not who I used to be.

I used to HATE hearing that someone had read my little bloggy here. I remember the first time someone told me they had read my blog, it was Marissa Liu, in College Writing at the beginning of my senior year. And I literally said, "Oh my gosh, don't do that." Even though she had just complimented me on it. I'm silly. I just feel uncomfortable when people compliment me, because I know there are so many other things out there that are better or what not, I guess? I don't think there's a specific REASON for my weirdness about it, but you know.

Even last fall, when bestie Lexis told me she had read my post about my decision not to go on a mission and how she thought I was super cool for it or... I think her exact words might have been, "I thought, Oh my gosh, this girl is amazing!" (don't quote me on that, though... It just sounds like something I would find uncomfortable, so you know, fitting.) I reacted in my usual fashion and was really weird about it. I don't think that deterred her from ever reading again. Obvi... since she still reads. {Hey girrrlll!}

My point is, I used to be SO weird about my blog. Like, I wanted page views, but I didn't want people to actually read it? My logic in this case was NOT sound. But these days, I've incorporated it into my everyday vocabulary and I talk about it. I even, oh my, this is big, on sunday someone in my ward asked me what my hobbies were and I SAID BLOGGING. I've never done that before. I didn't realize until pretty recently that this would be considered a hobby of mine. I think about blogging ALL the TIME. And I do it a lot. But, I told her that I like to blog and she said that she loves reading blogs and wanted to check mine out! AHH. You guys! Then I told her what it's called without being awkward about it! If that isn't progress, I don't know what is.

But, from this little encounter, I realized that my name is spelled weird... so... what if I tell someone about my blog and they don't know how to spell my name!? Would it be SUPER weird of me to make like... business cards for my blog? Or maybe I should order a STAMP. OH MY FLIPPING HECK. Okay. I just BARELY thought of this. I should TOTES get a stamp with my URL! My seester has one for her design-y business with her info and such and I thought it was uber snazzy. And I've been dying to figure out something I could get one for my self for. CHYES! Shut the front, I'm so dang excited now!

Anywho, somewhere along the way, I changed. I'm not the girl I used to be. I'm proud of my words and I like to share them. I never expected to be at this point. And I never thought it would feel so natural to me. I never thought I would be a "writer". Since, I consider myself a writer... In so many areas of my life, I'm not the girl I used to be. And... I think I like this new girl. Hmm...

I hope you all have a lovely week! Thanks for stopping by!

     Reille K.

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