Wednesday, July 17, 2013

Date VS. Hangout

Not to worry, guys. Real blog post this time. Since THIRTY ONE of you read my last one and I got ZERO comments. And only one on the Facebook link that was just someone bein' sassy. Anyway, I'll get to it.

So, as inspired by a recent life event, I've been ruminating over the whole "dating vs. hanging out" thing. Not like, the pros and cons of each one or anything, but like... What is the difference between going on a date with someone and just hanging out with someone. I mean, if you're hanging out with just the two of you... Is there even a difference?

Here's what I found: If it's a date, it should be clear to both people that it is, in fact, a date. Otherwise, things just get weird and all that jazz. And the only other difference is that it has romantic connotation. Like, you're spending time with this person because you are interested in them romantically. Get my meaning?

If it's just hanging out, you're just spending time with someone to get to know them better or just because you enjoy their company. It COULD be to scope out whether or not you do have romantical type feelings for them also, without the "commitment" of a date.

Basically... they're the same thing. That's what we're getting here, right? I mean, besides the labeling of the situation. You do the same things, right? There is no, "Oh, you can't do that if you're just hanging out. That's something that is EXCLUSIVELY done when on a date," activities... Is there? There is no, "Oh, that can't be done when you're JUST hanging out, you uneducated swine!" Am I right, people? I think I am. Right?

As I do every Wednesday, I went to lunch with my Grandma at Sizzler. (Seriously, every Wednesday, we go.) And I was contemplating this whole subject while we were there and so OF COURSE, I asked her how it was when she was growing up. So, preface, my grandma would have been dating age around the mid-40's.

If a guy and a girl were together. It was a date. There was no "hanging out" between guys and girls back then. A guy was ALWAYS the one to ask. And if a girl asked, which was INCREDIBLY rare, she was considered very forward. The only time it wasn't necessarily a "date" was if the guy just stopped by the girl's house and they "chatted" for a bit. Guys COULD NOT just wait around for the girls to do all the work, otherwise, no one would ever get anywhere. (Now, I'm not saying that I fully expect the guys to make all the moves and all that stuff. Because I don't. I am a WOMAN, people. But, it would be nice if I didn't have to do ALL the work. Ya feel me?)

So, what happened? Why is there such a dichotomy between dating then and dating now? I mean, they both have the same purpose at their core. And they include the same activities. All that's different is the name. So why is the word, "date" so insanely scary for people? Myself included! Is it because there are more expectations going into a date? Because you could easily have the exact same expectations going into a hang out.

It's interesting to see how society has changed and realize that while we're "the valiant generation" and all that jazz, we're really just a bunch of wimps. Really, though.

Have a good week, everybody!


     Reille K.

1 comment:

  1. I think that people got less into relationships, or maybe more run by fear. There was a time when the man just sucked up the courage to get rejected, and approached anyway. Sadly those days are gone for some, but thankfully there are still old fashioned romantics around. Every date, every phone call, every romantic gesture I made toward Clayton TERRIFIED me. Because he had the power to crush me. But I'm so grateful I was stronger than fear, or my life wouldn't be so amazing.

    I can imagine as a woman it would be hard, because you feel empowered by the new age and at the same time powerless by past ideals of society. The role of women in the world and subcultures might be an interesting blog/rant.

    Love reading you Reilee :)


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