Sunday, March 31, 2013

*Siiiighh* What to do, what to do?

I have a conundrum. I just don't know what to do, who to turn to. What am I supposed to do in a situation like this? How am I supposed to go about it? What do I really want? 

The different outcomes keep spinning circles around in my head; my thoughts touching on each one briefly but not holding on to any. I haven't thought about it for so long that I almost don't even remember why I chose to go this way in the first place.

But, if given a second chance, could it be better? Could it be? Because we're both different now? We know more of ourselves. We've had time apart to grow on our own, maybe that's just what we needed to bond again and have a better relationship than before. Maybe it's how life was meant to unfold. Maybe we needed the time apart to realize what we meant to each other. For us to get on even ground. 

But is it the right thing to go back to that? Given what we've both said? Is it the way things were meant to turn out? It's hard to tell, because of nostalgia. It's hard to tell because I've been reminiscing on the good times lately, because there were just as much of them as the bad times. 

I just, I have no idea what to do. I have no CLUE what I'm going to decide. What was once the most comfortable thing in the world it was almost second nature, now feels like it would be worse than speaking in the Singles Ward. It feels as if it could change my entire life. 

I'm not the same person I once was. 

Does that change what you want?

Are you the same person you once were?

Does that change what I want?

Should that change what I want?

I have a conundrum. 

Have a lovely day! I never said Happy Easters, so, Happy Easters! 

     Reille K. 

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