Saturday, April 14, 2012

Judgy. Realizations. Just a bit of everything.

As the end of high school nears, I come to realize that I could have done things much differently. I wish I would have been less:
-not willing to get out there.
-unwilling to get to know certain people/types of people.
- and a whole slew of other things.
-fearful of EVERYTHING.

"The only thing we have to fear, is fear itself.". -Franklin D. Roosevelt (his memorial in D.C. Is absolutely fantastic, btw.)

I mostly just wish I would have gotten to know more people and realized that I wanted to before it was too late and that I have a lot more in common with these people I call peers than I originally thought. We have the same goals, wants, thoughts, wishes, desires, tastes, etc.

"The highest form of ignorance is when you reject something you don't know anything about." -Dr.Wayne Dyer

I wish I would have gotten off my high horse wayyyy sooner and been everyone's friend, always. Been more open to other people and their ideas. Basically, everything. I just could have done this whole "high school" thing a lot differently, and I'm recently realizing this. It would have been a slight more amount of effort, but I think it would have been worth it. I just got complacent and thought that my friends from Jr. High were all I would ever need. I didn't really join any clubs, where I would meet new people. I always wanted to do things with one of my good friends/best friends at my side, and if they weren't feeling it, I wouldn't do it either. I have made some new friends since Jr. High, but I feel like I happened upon them, with sheer luck, rather than seeking them out. I do feel pretty lucky to have found them, as I consider them some of my favorite people.

But there are those that I wish I would have gotten to know. I don't really want to name any names, to spare my pride, but I have a mental list. I don't really have a lot of guys friends though, which seems to be one of the roots of my issues with life. The result of this is that I have only been to one boys' choice dance, and that was with one of my very best of guy friends (and really the only one I've made since the good ole days). My 18th birthday and prom are on the same day this year, and I've yet to be asked, I don't know that I really wish to be asked right now, and I just don't really know about prom. Last year it was a bit underwhelming, but we had a small group so we were all a bit... A lot more self conscious about everything dance wise. But, it's cool, I have plans to watch a scary movie with my good friend Brit. Which I've been wanting to do for AGES, but Chels won't go near a scary movie, and I'm not about to go watching one by myself!

I just wish I would have plucked up the courage to strike out on my own terms and do things long before now. Things that are beneficial to me, at least. I have done things on my own before, I just... I don't know. I feel like I could be in a totally different place right now if I had made some different choices.

Well, that's it for tonight, hope you all have a dandy day!.... Errr, night. :)

1 comment:

  1. i just BARELY found out you had a blog! :)
    i totally agree with you, though! i'm the same way. high school really is a lot more fun when you reach out and help make it better for other people. and i wish i could've realized that a lot sooner. we are all going our separate ways in the end, but it's never a bad idea to have fun along the way, even though half the time you lose contact with them anyway.
    but i'm glad we're friends in sociology! :)


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