Tuesday, January 24, 2017

"But you gotta have faith, faith, faith!"

In 2016, I finally FINALLY figured out how to have faith in God's timing with ALL things. Something that I have struggled with since I was 18. Faith in his plan, I had (and have). Because he told me that I didn't have to go on a mission (because I actually didn't want to go on a mission, sue me) and I met my two very best friends in the time that I would have been gone. AND did SO many baptisms for the dead because I went every week for a year. Three HUGE things that have impacted my life in a big way! But the timing of that plan? My faith in that was... lacking. The experience that I had with God telling me to go through the temple at the time that He did... was kinda nuts. I thought it was a terrible thing, because (this might sound totally stupid) it felt like I was giving up on finding a husband. Because in my head, the endowment was directly linked to MARRIAGE, MISSION, OR OLD MAIDS. (!!!) And the fact that he was telling me to do it without any of those things being on the table, made me feel like... He wasn't listening to me. Hearing my prayers. Because it wasn't MY timing. I just wanted a man, dangit! And I kinda hate typing that out loud. But it really is how I felt. 
I read an article that was talked about how the endowment is not a "stepping stone covenant". And that totally changed the way I was thinking. Because it's not! The endowment, on it's own, is a saving ordinance. Like, duh Reille. And I've realized that with receiving my endowment, and being a temple going lady, Heavenly Father was making me into the woman I need to be in order to be ready for marriage. To be the type of woman that the guy He has in store for me is looking for. To fulfill my eternal potential. To give Him the tools to answer all dem prayers I was prayin'!
Now that I've been endowed for... 9 months... I can see it. I can see how the temple was integral to the Master Plan for me. I became exponentially more spiritual and spiritually minded since going through the temple. I'm in less of a hurry to marry myself off to someone. I'm learning how to enjoy the growth of this period in my life. And how that's going to positively affect my future romantic relationship(s?). And I understand so much more of the gospel and it's teachings than I ever have in the past.
Hindsight is 20/20. But the lesson lies within the hindsight, most of the time. God knows what and who you need to become, in order for you to be able to do the things He knows you want to do. And He's going to make those things happen for you. I promise. And I KNOW it's so freaking hard to have faith in the timing of everything. It really is. But, if you look back on your life... has He ever led you to something bad? God has so many awesome blessings in store for you. Better than you could ever dream up for yourself.

I hope that you can find something wonderful to hold on to, that will help you when hard things are happening. Like, the memory that you would think of to cast a patronus. 

Reille K. :)

No comments:

Post a Comment

Talk to me. :)