I'M PARTICIPATING IN LIFE.

As you all know (or should by now, since I wrote a post about it yesterday), I'm an introvert. And on top of that, I simply feel awkward in most social situations. I don't know what's normal to do/say and what isn't. It's a rough life, guys. ;) But really. Plus, I just do stupid things a lot. So, it's not like I help my own case. 

Recently, I've fallen head over heels for a boy. And I absolutely HATE it. Like, do I tell them if it seems like there's possibility there? Do I just silently pine for him from afar? <--- My go to option in the past. I just... I crave more. And it's annoying me. But, the chance of seeing him at things has been motivating me to participate in things I normally wouldn't go to. Like, I went to ward prayer last night. And I've been going to Munch and Mingle. And I have been LEGITIMATELY considering a tri-ward camp out that's happening soon. Like, who the heck do I think I am? I can't even escape people if I go on a camp out! And what if he doesn't even go? I mean, I could ASK if he's going, but that's too easy. And I've resolved not to ask anyone else on a date. That's never ended well for me. And like, hanging out? I'm awkward, he probably wouldn't even want to. UUUUGH. Do you SEE what it's like being in my brain right now? Kill me. I hate that I turn into this when I like someone. And I'm not talking, oh, he's cute. I mean, I've had conversations with them and I legitimately could see this going somewhere. But it never does. Ugh. 

Okay, sorry this was kind of lame. But, it happened. 

Mmmkaylikeyoubyeeee! 

Cheers,
     Reille K. 

What IS an introvert?

I know, it seems like everyone and their dog (at least, in the websy places I tend to frequent) have been talking about Introverts vs. Extroverts lately. And I've had a run-in of my own on this topic (a real life conversation?! Yes, I have those from time to time) and it really bothered me. So, obviously, I gotta blog about it. Let me preface by saying that I'm not trying to put down any extroverts or anything, I'm just going off of my own experiences and my own quirksies. Mmkay?

Also, sorry I've been AWOL for the past month. I was all kinds of busy with Phlebotomy and Guppy and life in general. Plus, I just didn't really feel like I had anything to say. It was as awful for me as it was for everyone else, I'm sure. Haaa! Kidding. But seriously. I think, I'm probably back. So, let's hop to it.

It's a lot of graphics that I, as an Introvert, think are HILARIOUS or that really struck me. And I hope that this will be enlightening to some.

 

So, let's begin by saying this. Being an Introvert and being shy ARE NOT THE SAME THING. NOR ARE THEY EVEN RELATED. Say whaaa?! Yeah, true story. Being shy has to do with social anxieties and that type of thing. But Introvertism vs. Extrovertism is all about how you gain "energy". Not like, energy that you get from sleeping or eating food, but like, social energies, spiritual energies... Ya feel me? Yeah! So, just because someone is an introvert, that doesn't make them antisocial. <--- that. That is what my real life conversation was revolving around. And it got a little intense. Anyway.

Scientifically speaking, introverts brains are wired differently. They take in stimuli much faster than the brain of an extrovert and it causes them to actually "overdose" on dopamine. Which is why they feel EXHAUSTED by a lot of socialising and general human interaction. They also tend to come across as rude, simply because they don't see the point of a lot of the "normal" human pleasantries and they don't do the whole small talk thing. They would rather discuss ideas than who so-and-so is dating. Introverts GIVE energy in the social situation and extroverts GAIN energy in the social situation.

 

 

Personally, I am VERY much an Introvert. I socialize when I'm around others, but when I get the chance to be alone with my thoughts, I can't get enough of it. I love being alone. I love sitting there and processing all the things that happened to me that day and all the conversations I had. It's fantastic. There was a week this past month that I had literally, zero time to myself. I was exhausted, I was grumpy with people, I couldn't think straight; it was horrible. I didn't realize until later that I didn't have any time to be alone without someone interrupting my thoughts and I felt like I was constantly under attack. It sounds like I'm being unreasonable and weird, but that's really what it feels like! So, that's when I decided to do a little research about this whole thing. I've just been ruminating over the topic for the past three weeks, waiting for some inspiration to write it. Since I had very limited time to myself, I didn't want to use any of it on blogging. I know, how selfish of me. But, it had to be done, for my sanity.

 

Like, two? weeks ago, when I met with my home teacher and his fake companion (he brought his buddy with him because his companion flaked); we chatted for about an hour and it was all fun and good and great. I loved it. But the second they left, I went into my parents room and collapsed on their bed and exclaimed, "Social interaction is so exhausting!" For reals, ask them. It happened. And it is! It's very draining to me to be constantly talking and thinking about what I want to say next. I much prefer to have lulls in the conversation and have time to process when I have to be with someone for a while. Even if I'm with someone and we just don't talk, I love it. I love being with people for the presence of their being, rather than the conversation. And I think part of what's so hard is that I'm a very active listener. When I'm listening to you, you have my FULL attention. And so being with other people is a lot.

 

So there we have it. Being an introvert is not being shy. We just, don't say things if we have nothing to say and we have to have some alone time pretty frequently. That's all. We're not some alien race of beings that look the same and talk the same as you.

 

Here are a few more graphics for ya.

 

I actually watched this whole show, it's HILARIOUS. Freaks and Geeks, go check it out. Netflix it up.

 

 

There you have it! Congrats if you made it to the end. Thanks for sticking around. I'll try to frequent a bit more. No promises though. Three more days until I'm a Phlebotomist! Five more days until I get to see my bestie and meet his boyfriend! Eeeee! Life is good. Mmmmmkaylikeyoubyeee!

 

Cheers,

Reille K.



 

And that makes me sad.

While I thought that I loved being open and blunt and ...free-flowing with my words, lately... that's changed. 

I've recently felt like I need to hide away all my thoughts, feelings, actions, words. Hoard them, keep them for myself and myself only. 

I haven't been able to find the words I want to say whenever I come here. 

And that makes me sad. 

Is THIS something that happens as you grow up?

Maybe it's because I'm so busy I barely have time to eat? Or shower?

Maybe it's because I'm trying to focus all my energies on the things happening in real life, like Phlebotomy, Guppy, my calling, work, Momma, etc... to even think about my internet life? My little bloggy, here?

I can't seem to find the words here... in this place. 

And that makes me sad. 

Cheers,
     Reille K. 

Week Two of Phlebotomy

Holyyyy buckets, you guys. This week has been absolutely NUTS. 

First, Guppy was born. And he is darn cute. 

Second, we started doing draws this week. Oh my goodness. 

See, if you've been here for a while, you know that I'm the type of person that most things just come naturally to. Or at least, I get it good enough on the first try to deem it acceptable. I guess you could just say that I set very high standards for myself. Because, I do. 

This week, that was tested REAL HARD. Wednesday was our first night with an actual needle that we were poking into an actual person. We get to practice on our classmates first. Good times. I struggled reals bad. It probably wasn't HORRIBLE, but for me, I basically just failed that night. I don't know what my deal was. I was so excited, why wasn't I getting this? And it didn't help that when it wasn't perfect, I would just panic and lose my cool. It was ROUGH. 

I realized then, that I had not prayed about this class at all. I knew it was the right thing for me to do, but I hadn't asked for help with any of it. I was a wreck. I sat down and poured it all out to the Lord and I felt better after that. Then I made sure to say a little prayer("I say a little prayer for youuuu." Anyone?) before I went into class on Thursday and OH MY HEAVENS, the difference it made was incredible. I passed the test that we took that day, that most of the class didn't (that alone is a miracle). And I had one goal, to get a successful AC (or your general draw from your "elbow crease" for you un-medical-y peeps) that night. That was all I cared about. The girl I was partners with had awful hand veins, and only one good AC vein. I tried a butterfly on her hand that was unsuccessful, but I didn't panic, which was a HUGE improvement. And I was able to try and redirect and everything. It didn't do anything, but it was great because I was able to learn from the experience still and it wasn't dreadful like the ones the previous night. 

It was SUUCH a better night, because I had asked for help. I've always known that the help is there, but I rarely remember to utilize it. I struggle with the whole prayer thing. I know he's there, I just don't do it enough. It's something I've always had to work on, and something I will probably always have to work on. But one thing's for sure, I definitely gained a better testimony of prayer this week, and I stuck a bunch of people with needles! All in all, GREAT week. Stressful, but great. :) 

Thanks for stopping by! Have a good weekend, everyone! 

Mmmmmkaylikeyoubyeeeee! 

Cheers, 
     Reille K. 

Saturday Musings

Once upon a time, I decided to take a CPR certification course today. I had never even thought about it or realized that I probably should take one until earlier this week during class. As a phlebotomist, I'll most likely be working in a health care facility of some sort. In which case, it would be very likely that I would need to know how to do CPR. I mean, not that I would use it everyday, but, a lot of the time there are unhealthy people there. Plus, it's probably a requirement to get a job. I mean, it can't hurt, right?!

Here's the thing. I've always been kind of against the whole medical field thing. No specific reason for it, I just never thought it was my thing. I never saw myself as the type of person that would be be good at it. My parents always saw it. They always, ALWAYS encouraged me to do medical field-y things and I was always like, "Ew, no." (because this happened when I was an angsty teenager, yeah?) 

But... I'm also really awesome at it. It makes sense to me, I understand it. Now that I've put myself into it, even if it's just like, school and such, I'm ALL about it. Always talking about it, wanting to learn more, asking questions, etc. It's really super cool. I'm still pretty sure that like, intense, surgery type things are OUT of the question. Because guts are just... not really my thing. Like, when their all alive still and all writhing around and such. But like, blood? I love the stuff! It has never bothered me. It's so interesting to me. It's much more than just this liquid that moves around inside you. Blood is my calling, people. ;)

Anyway, I'm gonna go. Gotta go study for my test on Monday. Wooo!

Have a lovely weekend, everyone! 

Cheers,
     Reille K. 

Week One of Phlebotomy

I've decided to try and do a weekly update of my phlebotomy class, instead of writing about it all throughout the week. Simply because, I don't want to bore the pants off you. 

So this was the first week, and it's been AWESOME. I've learned so much already and I'm LOOOVING it. One of my favorite things, that I thought I was going to be a little grossed out by, but was still really excited about--AUTOPSIES. We watched... I guess it would be three of them... last night! Oh my goodness! It was so cool and interesting. I was really interested when they cut open the uterus and stuff (you know me! Love me some reproductive organs!) and the woman was ovulating when she died... AH! IT WAS SO COOL. The only part that was a little weird was when they were peeling the skin back off the ribs. That was slightly gross. But otherwise, I was fine! And I was eating Skittles the whole time, so no worries. 

Also, we took our first quiz and I got 100%! I studied really hard, which was weird. Not that I studied, but because I haven't studied for anything since High School. But, it was actually really easy. So, hopefully it stays that way! ;)

We learned about infection control and oh my goodness. I've been extremely paranoid to touch ANYTHING. And I've been really vigilant in proper hand hygiene. Because... dang. I don't want any of those diseases! 

Guys, I'm just really frackin' excited about this. I think it's just what I needed and I think I'm going to rock it. Hopefully, I can stick people with needles. That's the ONLY thing I'm not super sure about yet. But, we start doing that next week! So I'll let you know how it goes! Also, I'll be needing volunteers to practice on pretty soon, so if any of you are interested, let me know! I need as many as I can get. 

Mmkaylikeyoubyeeee!

Cheers, 
     Reille K. 

The long awaited announcement.

So, this announcement that I've been hinting at this past few days... It's finally time to tell you guys!

Once upon a time in third grade, my teacher, Mr. Bezzant had a picture of Mt. St. Helens on his wall all year. And he taught us about it. Basically, it's an active volcano and it's really cool and awesome. It lives in Washington.

Also, once upon a time, when I was a Junior in high school, I went on a four day trip to Seattle with my oldest sister for this army thing called Yellow Ribbon. I saw a small percentage of Seattle, since we were in classes for most of the days that we were there. But, it was fantastic. I loved the weather. I loved the culture. I loved Pike's Market Place even though we got there as it was closing. It was frackin' cool.

Once upon a time, I have been really sick of Utah  in general lately. I'm not sure what sparked this sudden need to get outta dodge (actually, it's a LOT of crappy things happening all at the same time. None of which is all that important).

And. I realized this. What am I doing? I can go wherever I want to. I can do whatever I want to. What is keeping me here? I mean, really. What? My family is here, yes, but it's not like they will cease to be in contact with me at all or like, die or something if I'm not in the same place as them. I don't have a boyfriend. My friends will survive if I don't live by them (that's pretty much the case already, so). I won't die if I live alone in some new place, in fact, it's something I've always fantasized about!

So. Here it is. One year from when I certify as a Phlebotomist, I plan on moving to Seattle. Not really the actual city itself, but one of like, the suburbs of it or whatever. So, I guess, just outside of Seattle. So far, from what I've researched, it'll probably be Bellevue, Washington. But, we'll see what it's like when it's closer.

Guys, I'm so so so freaking excited. I'm giving myself a year to save as much as I can. Because, well, it's hella expensive to live there. Let's be real though, it's hella expensive to live anywhere outside of Utah. And I'm not setting a limit or anything on how long I'll be gone or anything, because what's the point of leaving on an adventure like this when you plan on just coming back? There is no point!

I may hate it, but, at least I'll have that experience. I may love it, and never live in Utah again. Either way, I'm doing it for me. I'm doing something that I have ALWAYS wanted to do. And it's going to be awesome. Even if it sucks. It will be awesome.

So there it is for ya.

Have a lovely week! Thanks for stopping by.

Cheers,
     Reille K.